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Tim Roth.  O HAI.

August 2013



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Aug. 28th, 2013

Tim Roth.  O HAI.

Fanart for the Basil/Ratigan series!!

Wow, I know I haven't posted to this journal in forever, but out of the blue I've just received an absolutely gorgeous piece of fanart for one of my fics!

kiki564 has illustrated the devastating midnight kiss from Masquerade, and let me tell you, it is flawless. Click the link and see for yourself! If you're a fan of the series, it really is a must-see.

Thank you so much, Kiki!

Aug. 5th, 2012

Jason Flemyng.  Sunny smile.

Fic - "'Til Peace We Find (Tell You What I'll Do)"

Title: 'Til Peace We Find (Tell You What I'll Do)
Author: colonel_bastard
Characters/Fandom: Tony Stark, Bruce Banner. Avengers (movieverse).
Word Count: 1,322
Rating: G
Summary: After hunching over his work table all day, Tony attempts to pop his back. Bruce offers his assistance.
Notes: My science bro feels, let me show you them. Title taken from the song Strangers by The Kinks.

Tony’s got his arms raised like chicken wings and he’s twisting awkwardly in his chair when Bruce looks over and says, 'What are you doing?'Collapse )

Jul. 25th, 2012

Tim Roth.  O HAI.

The Colonel's on AO3!

Wow, I'm just trying to keep up with the times, haha. Fandom keeps evolving! I love it!

Here's where you can find me: http://archiveofourown.org/users/colonel_bastard

Right now I'm in the process of transferring all my old stuff to the new place. Going in reverse chronological order is really trippy, like going on a time warp back through all of my fandoms gone by. It's almost like counting the rings of a tree!

Don't think that I'm abandoning this journal--- I plan to keep posting all my new fics here, too. This is just another way to bring Colonel!fic to the masses, haha. And the party train keeps on rolling!

Jul. 3rd, 2012

Vincent Cassel.  Big laugh.

Fic - "Crazy 'Bout A Sharp-Dressed Man"

Title: Crazy 'Bout A Sharp-Dressed Man
Author: colonel_bastard
Characters/Fandom: Tom Hiddleston, Chris Hemsworth. RPF.
Word Count: 1,529
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: sex.
Summary: Tom's leather jacket is very... distracting.
Notes: Clearly I can refuse Juno nothing. She wanted a fic about that leather jacket that Tom is always wearing--- and she wanted it to end up tangled around his arms while Chris had his way with him. Done and done, my dear.

As soon as they're alone Chris grabs him by the front of his jacket, his fingers curling in the familiar leather.Collapse )

Jun. 21st, 2012

Tim Roth.  O HAI.

Fic - "The Unexpected Sting"

Title: The Unexpected Sting
Author: colonel_bastard
Characters/Fandom: Loki, Thor, Odin. Avengers movieverse.
Word Count: 1,041
Rating: PG
Summary: A variation on the banishment scene from Thor.
Notes: Written as a gift for Juno. Because sometimes watching the favored sibling fall from grace isn't all it's cracked up to be.

You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy!Collapse )

Jun. 13th, 2012

Vincent Cassel.  Glancing up.

Fic - "Eye of the Storm"

Title: Eye of the Storm
Author: colonel_bastard
Characters/Fandom: Thor, Loki. Avengers movieverse.
Word Count: 1000
Rating: PG
Summary: What if the storm ends and leaves us nothing?
Warnings: Loki feels.
Notes: For Juno, as a reward for becoming Tumblr-famous! She requested a Thor/Loki fic inspired by What If The Storm Ends? The song's a doozy. Give it a listen and then come on in for some good old-fashioned Loki angst.

Thor rises above the tide of the battle in a whirlwind of lightning, and for one heart-stopping moment, Loki remembers how much he still loves him.Collapse )

Jun. 10th, 2012

Tim Roth.  O HAI.

Fic - "Grease Monkey"

Title: Grease Monkey
Author: colonel_bastard
Characters/Fandom: Steve, Tony. Avengers movieverse.
Word Count: 2,798
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Tony is filthy when he comes out of his workshop. Steve helps him get clean. Then things get dirty.
Warnings: shower sex.
Notes: written for an irresistible prompt at avengerkink. It was about damn time I wrote some proper smut for this pairing!

NOW WITH A STEAMY ILLUSTRATION BY JUNO: with actual steam and everything!

'You're filthy,' Steve accuses.Collapse )

Jun. 9th, 2012

Jason Flemyng.  Sunny smile.

Fic - "Joyride"

Title: Joyride
Author: colonel_bastard
Characters/Fandom: Tony, Steve. Avengers movieverse.
Word Count: 1,302
Rating: PG
Summary: Tony and Steve ride a motorcycle through Manhattan.
Warnings: I miss New York. I think it shows.
Notes: I prompted Juno to draw Tony and Steve on a motorcycle, and she made a comment about Tony refusing to ride bitch. Then this fic happened!

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. Why do I have to ride bitch?Collapse )

Jun. 4th, 2012

Bones.  Tricorder porn.

Fic - "A Helping Hand"

Title: A Helping Hand
Author: colonel_bastard
Characters/Fandom: Kirk, McCoy. Star Trek (TOS).
Word Count: 2,301
Rating: R
Summary: Kirk has trouble providing a urine sample. McCoy lends a hand.
Warnings: sexy pissing, implied sexy times.
Notes: For raja815. Set in my headcanon where Kirk and McCoy are fuck buddies who both want to fuck Spock--- Kirk in a space-husbands-true-love kinda way, McCoy in a damn-that-frustrating-son-of-a-bitch-makes-me-horny kinda way. Because let's face it, everyone wants to fuck Spock. That's just a fact.

Kirk closes his eyes and forces himself to take big, deep breaths.Collapse )

Mar. 1st, 2012

Tim Roth.  O HAI.

Fic - "Lodestar"

Title: Lodestar
Author: colonel_bastard
Characters/Fandom: Jim Hawkins, Long John Silver. Treasure Planet.
Word Count: 3,989
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Lodestar - a star that is used to guide the course of a ship.
Warnings: Pirate swearing, teenage sexing.
Notes: Written for a prompt at the spectacular disney_kink, set during the scene in the movie when Silver tells Jim that he has greatness in him (aka one of the Most Romantic Speeches Ever In Film). Right before he goes below deck, Jim looks back with the shy smile. Prompter says: What if the smile turns slightly seductive and he invites Silver to follow him with a slight head motion? What if Silver takes him up on that offer and follows Jim to a more private part of the ship? I could not resist. I have fallen head over heels for this pairing. Special thanks to the anonymous commenter who asked me to write a fic for this fandom--- I hadn’t seen this movie since it was in theatres and you got me to give it another chance, leading to the discovery that this pairing is basically a perfect storm of all my favorite things. Thanks for bringing me to them!

Just before he goes below deck, Jim stops and looks back.Collapse )

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